


blackbird fly

by myoonki



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: But it's still sad, Fluff, I'm Going to Hell, M/M, Past Character Death, Plot, They Have Kids, a concept: me learning how to tag, and cry BC I DONT WRITE FLUFF AND IT WAS FRUSTRATING, and i decide 2 finish it at 5 am, anniversary fic, fluff fluff fluff fluff, fluff with plot, i call myself the "angst master" ok idk how 2 fluff im sorry, i deadass typed "flut with plot" ok idk what that even means, i'll be kicked out of my gc, i'm not gonna have any friends after they all read this, i'm sorry everyone, its 5 am im sorry, ok IT WAS IN THE PAST, or a heart, or a life, pic of me not having any friends, please feel free to kill me, sehun and jongin are married, send help, sorry everyone, this made me vomit, this took me a month to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 22:15:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11976141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myoonki/pseuds/myoonki
Summary: the "anniversary fic" that everyone thought they wanted, but no one realized what they were asking for.basically, i don't do fluff. sorry. i also didn't edit this.... oops!





	blackbird fly

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be an "i'm sorry" fic for the last heartbreaker i wrote.... in summary: i'm not sorry.

Baekhyun stirred awake to the velvety heat of fingers skimming against his side, just as he did every morning; and just like every morning, he turned his body into the tender touch and pressed his face into the familiar chest that always greeted him, mated with inviolable arms wrapping around him and dragged him in so tight that Baekhyun forgot what any other touch felt like.

Kyungsoo had become his refuge. Everything in creation would halt at this import, only to offer Kyungsoo the adequate time essential to manipulate the boy’s head from his chest so he could dip his head down and steal a kiss from the older boy. The lovers never daunted to exchange tidings until they had shared their daybreak kiss, allowing the hinting of ghosting touches to communicate every indigence their hearts desired. They played the game by their own regulations, orchestrating their numbers at their own rate, performing each phase with graceful care, and concluding each performance with measured bows.

"You know," Baekhyun murmured against his husband’s passive, tender lips, and Kyungsoo grunted as he prepared for the commencement of an obnoxiously-pesky comment to spill from the boy. Still, Baekhyun continued on, "Sixteen years of marriage is a lot. We’re getting quite old."

"You mean _you're_ getting old, my vexatious little love," Kyungsoo corrected. Kyungsoo gave no warning as he sauntered onto his back, his sturdy hands tugging Baekhyun's figure along with his so that the older boy's body rested comfortably atop of his own. Kyungsoo eyes locked with Baekhyun's, his chin angling up, wordlessly seeking a kiss that Baekhyun readily supplied. "You’re what now? Pushing forty-five? You're getting kinda old, I might need to divorce you soon. I'm running out of time to find myself a younger man that can keep up."

"Excuse you?" Baekhyun wheezed, using his hands to push himself off of the younger boy. "Listen, you aren’t even a solid year younger than me. Plus, this is our sixteenth wedding anniversary. You should, I don’t know, maybe be trying to persuade me to let you fuck me, not insulting my age and stamina!"

Kyungsoo paid no attention to Baekhyun’s rant as he easily gripped each of Baekhyun’s wrists in his hands and flipped the boy over, pressing him down into the mattress beneath him. He pinned Baekhyun’s hands above his head as he leaned down over the boy, his face hovering just inches above Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun’s eyes grew wide with excitement as his husband looked down at him, easily overpowering him without any effort.

"Dear, know damn well I'm never worried about your stamina," Kyungsoo sniggered as he leaned down to brush his lips against the peak of Baekhyun’s nose. Baekhyun wrists grappled in Kyungsoo's grip, urgently yearning to tangle them in his lover's hair, but before he could battle any further, the weight above of him vanished, and he was abandoned in an empty bed, left to heed to a drifting voice calling out, "Hurry along, my dear. We have a lovely day ahead of us."

 _(Their love had been stitched in collusion with golden thread so superlative that there would never be a discovery of any medium with superior class. It was as though the deity from beliefs all over had united in collaboration merely to produce their tale. It was assembled over time. No haste existed amongst the lovers. There were never hurried hands or misplaced words that were brought up the construction of their relationship. Everything was timed to utter paragon, an enactment that could have only been carried out by the vaults of heaven._   
  
_They had met when they were very young, and though both of them were heated and wild in their younger years, they had always found benefits of patience and gentle passions with each other._   
  
_When Kyungsoo first approached Baekhyun in a courting manner, there was hardly any questioning to it._   
  
_"Wait," Kyungsoo had urged, holding his hand out to stop the boy from taking another step. Baekhyun waited while the younger boy crouched down to the ground, watching with wide eyes as Kyungsoo’s fingers grabbed the stem of a dandelion from where Baekhyun had just been about to step. He could hear the subtle snapping sound of the stem breaking in two as Kyungsoo plucked it from the ground._   
  
_"What’s the purpose of saving me from stepping on a dandelion if you’re just going to steal it from the ground anyway?" Baekhyun asked as Kyungsoo rose back up to his level. "You’re still killing it."_   
  
_"No, now instead of all the seeds staying in one place when you step on it, they’ll all fly in all sorts of directions when I blow on it. They won’t have to compete for life and there will be more wishes in the world." Kyungsoo replied, his eyes carefully inspecting the dandelion to make sure all the bristles were still intact._   
  
_"Wish? What are you wishing for?" Baekhyun asked, and Kyungsoo finally broke eye contact with the weed to meet the boy’s eyes._   
  
_"Well I can’t tell you the wish, it won’t come true if I do," Kyungsoo corrected, his voice very matter-of-factly as he lectured Baekhyun. "Everyone knows that, Baekhyun."_   
  
_Baekhyun thought to argue the younger boy, but instead, he blew out a puff of air, angling it so that it hit the dandelion just perfectly, and each bristle landed tacitly against Kyungsoo’s face, a few of them sticking to his lips._   
  
_"You stole my wish!" Kyungsoo cried out, his voice rising as he looked at the remainder of the dandelion with sad eyes. Baekhyun felt a tug at his heart, and he almost felt bad for stealing the wish, but he both knew they probably were wanting the same thing from the wishing weed._   
  
_"Seems fair enough, considering you already stole my heart," Baekhyun grinned, his eyes full of joy as Kyungsoo reached a loss of words, his tongue tangling around anything he attempted to say. "It’s okay," Baekhyun continued. "I know.")_

"What do you think about going to the bistro?" Kyungsoo asked, a mouthful of half-chewed toast nearly muffling his words. Chewing with his mouth full was a habit he had picked up simply for the purpose of annoying Baekhyun. He of course never did it around others, but the little tick of his never failed to drive Baekhyun mad. However, since it was their anniversary Baekhyun chose to ignore it for once, busying his attention in reading an article on the front cover of the Sunday paper.

"Uh, which one?" Baekhyun asked, his nose still angled down as his eyes narrowed, trying to read the small print. Over the years his eyes had grown old with the rest of him, and as the days went by he was finding it harder to read the finer print of things. "The one on down on Fifth, or the one on Main Street?"

"Main Street," Kyungsoo answered as he dropped the rest of his toast and grabbed the reading glasses from the center of the paper. He held them out to Baekhyun, but when he realized Baekhyun wasn’t paying attention to him, he dropped them smack in the center of the paper Baekhyun was reading, disturbing his train of thought.

Baekhyun looked up from the paper, his eyes traveling between his husband and the glasses in front of him, and because he was working on being nice today, he didn’t even sigh in annoyance as he picked the glasses up and put them on his face.

"I don’t like that we’re getting old," Baekhyun grumbled, his hand subconsciously reaching out to grab what was left of Kyungsoo’s toast from his plate. He could feel the loving _(death)_ glare Kyungsoo shot his way as Baekhyun bit into the piece of toast.

"And I don’t like that you steal my food. Tough shit, love," Kyungsoo snorted, picking up his fork to stab them into the eggs set off to the side of his plate.

"Yeah, yeah. What happened to 'what’s mine is yours' and all that? Was that only a requirement for the fifteen years?"

"No, it was a requirement for the first _sixteen_ years. Now that we’re there, I don’t have to feed you anymore. You know, I might have to look into my contract, but I don’t think I even need to house you anymore. I might have grounds to kick you out. You can go find somewhere else to live. Preferably somewhere where you can learn to make your own toast."

"Toast, _schmoast_. And hell, even a rock can tell you’re totally whipped for me. I give you purpose. Without me to eat your toast, who would you make breakfast for?" Baekhyun laughed, flipping open the first page of the paper to continue reading the article he was in the middle of.

"Uh, maybe _myself?_ " Kyungsoo frowned, shoving the eggs in his mouth as he watched Baekhyun’s eyes move over the page.

"Sounds overrated," Baekhyun replied, pulling his chair closer to the table to get more comfortable as he read, taking another bite of the toast.

"I—" Kyungsoo started to rebuttal, but was quickly interrupted by Baekhyun speaking again.

"Where was it you were wanting to go again? The bistro? Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere fancier? I mean, sixteen years is a long time. Lots of headaches, and if we’re unlucky enough, we’ll have the opportunity for lots more in the future."

"Yeah," Kyungsoo sighed. "But I really would like to go. We always go somewhere nice, and I kinda just wanna spend the day with you, you know? And like, not that it wouldn’t be just us in a restaurant, but I want something a little more secluded and private."

"And a bistro provides that?" Baekhyun looked up from his paper, his eyes meeting Kyungsoo’s for the first time since they sat down to eat.

"Yeah, it does," Kyungsoo nodded, leaning his elbow forward to rest on the table, his fork dropping back down to his plate, the utensil pushing his food around his plate as he waited for Baekhyun to decide.

"Alright," Baekhyun caved in, flipping the paper back in half and tossing it to the other side of their table. "The bistro it is."

_("Kyungsoo!" Baekhyun had yelled from across the room, and Kyungsoo’s head turned so fast he worried for half a second that he would suffer from whiplash. He was confused as to why Baekhyun had suddenly appeared with such exhilaration, but he didn’t have much time to think about it as Baekhyun dashed across the floor to reach Kyungsoo leaning against the wall._

_Though Kyungsoo was standing with a couple friends at the time, he couldn’t help but forget they existed, and all that mattered was Baekhyun coming to a stop in front of him. The floors and walls disappeared from around them, and all Kyungsoo knew in that moment was the boy standing in front of him._

_"Kyungsoo," Baekhyun repeated, his voice quieter this time, and though his breath had a bit of agitation to it, there was a kindness to Baekhyun’s eyes that was almost poetic, and Kyungsoo’s heart picked up a pace to match the breath falling from Baekhyun’s lips._

_"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo replied, his back straightening up as he looked at the boy in front of him, curiosity flowing through his body as he prepared for whatever it was that Baekhyun had run in there to say._

_"I— Uh," Baekhyun stepped closer, looking down at the space between them, stopping for a moment to take a deep breath. His hands balled up into fists, trying to find a way to push the words from his throat before he stepped back, shaking his head. "Actually, uh. Never mind."_

_"No, wait!" Kyungsoo rushed, stepped forward to grab Baekhyun’s arm before he could turn away from him and Baekhyun’s eyes drilled into where Kyungsoo’s fingers met his skin, and energy shot beneath the protection his skin, his breathing stopping on the spot. "Tell me, c’mon. Please?"_

_Baekhyun looked up from where Kyungsoo’s hand gripped him, and he held his eyes met Kyungsoo’s, and they both understood. They both knew, and that was evident in the way Kyungsoo gave him a little nod of encouragement. Kyungsoo knew, and Kyungsoo already had an answer. Despite the fact they both knew there was no need for further words, Baekhyun went ahead anyway, because Kyungsoo had asked him to._

_"I was just wondering if, yanno, you’d want to maybe go—"_

_"Yes," Kyungsoo grinned, not even waiting for Baekhyun to finish the question, and with that Baekhyun returned Kyungsoo’s nod, stepping out of Kyungsoo’s reach, and his blood ran cool from where Kyungsoo’s touch was now missing._

_"Then I’ll pick you up at six?"_   
  
_"Yeah, six.")_

"Sehun and Jongin are going to Greece again," Baekhyun declared between sips of water.

"Are they bringing the kids with them this time? Or is this your way of telling me we’re going to be babysitting a couple of preteens for a few weeks," Kyungsoo chuckled, his eyes scanning down the menu placed in the center of the table, not even bothering to turn it right side up towards himself as he already pretty much knew the entire menu, and Baekhyun was the one that really took too long to order his food.

"Well, they didn’t ask me if we were available to watch them, so I’d assume they’re going with," Baekhyun shrugged, his hand reaching out to slide the menu closer to himself.

"Good for them! That sounds like a fun little family vacation right there."

Baekhyun nodded in agreement, his fingers snatching at the end of the straw so that he could swirl it around and listen to the ice clink against the sides of the glass as the water twirled around.

"How come…" Baekhyun started, the motions of his wrist picking up speed as he took the time to carefully pick his words. "Why don’t we ever go on vacations? Or even leave town? Or have kids?"

" _Kids?_ " Kyungsoo sat up, his attention easily being grabbed up at the mention of new additions to their family.

"I mean, we talked about them when we were younger and stuff. I just, back then and stuff I’d always imagine us with a little brat running around the house that we could call our own, you know?"

"So you’ve already grown accustomed to calling our non-existent child a brat? Wow, Baekhyun. You know, maybe our non-existent child is offended by even the notion that they are anything but perfect. I mean, this non-existent person would be half _mine_ , correct? So they have to be at least half perfect."

"You're just proving my point," Baekhyun snorted, and Kyungsoo joined the sound with the beginnings of a deep laugh that had never once failed to calm any nerves that threatened to run through Baekhyun’s veins.

"Alright, so kids?" Kyungsoo swallowed, his voice growing softer and the new tone eased Baekhyun even further

"I want them," Baekhyun finished.

"Aren’t we getting a little too old for them now? I mean, I’m assuming you want at least two. We’d be nearing sixty before we’d manage to get them out of the house. You want our old parent sex to start when we’re actually _old_ people?"

"No," Baekhyun frowned, folding over the menu to busy himself with reading the other side. "I just want to leave behind something with meaning when we go. All that’ll be left of us is a house that’ll get remodeled or torn down to make way for another. I mean, _all_ our friends have kids. We’re the only ones without them, and we’re pretty much at the halfway points in our lives… and that’s if we’re being hopeful here. I’m just saying if we’re _ever_ going to have kids, now would probably be the time to start. I don’t want to be seventy before I’m sending the youngest off to college. They’ll want to live with us anyway, considering we’d be the cool parents they wouldn’t actually want to leave."

"I get your point, I do," Kyungsoo sighed, his teeth catching against the surface of his bottom lip, and his eyes grew distant and Baekhyun knew he was thinking. Kyungsoo liked to think. "How about… How about we commit to talking about it, and if within the next year we can’t make a solid decision, we won’t go for it, but if at any point during that time we both come to the decision we need a child in our life, we’ll do it."

"Really?" Baekhyun’s face lit up, and his whole body leaned forward to be closer to Kyungsoo, the straw ceasing to swirl as he did so.

"Yes, and I’m talking about _careful_ consideration here, Baek. I’m not talking we both have the urge to have a child. I mean we have financial planning, we have statistics drawn up and we’re actually prepared in every sense of the word and _then_ we decide we both want it. I don’t want to have a kid just because I want one only to end up ruining them and setting their life up for failure."

"Yeah, yeah. Numbers, research, words. I get it, I do!"

Baekhyun’s grin was ear to ear, and Kyungsoo was pretty sure he only had taken that bit to half his heart, the other chunk settling on carrying out a fantasy in the boy’s mind of toys scattered along the floor and painting nurseries together.

"Alright, are you ready to order?" a waiter asked, tearing Baekhyun away from his daydream, and it took him a couple moments to realize it was time to finally decide.

"We’ll just both take an order of bulgogi," Baekhyun answered, flipping the menu back to the front.

"Are you waiting for someone?" the waiter asked, and Baekhyun’s eyebrow lifted up in confusion.

"No?"

"So do you want one order or just two?"

"Two?" Baekhyun’s brows furrowed together as he looked away from the waiter and back to Kyungsoo. He shook his head, sighing as he lifted the menu up and handed it to the waiter. "Two orders, please. And can I get a second glass of water?"

"Of course," the waiter nodded, backing away after he had taken the menu from Baekhyun.

"Anyway," Baekhyun returned his attention back to Kyungsoo. "Where were we?"

_("You’re nervous," Kyungsoo stated. Fact. This was a fact._

_The night had been really nice. The meal had been nice, the music had been nice. Everything had been nice. And though Baekhyun had asked Kyungsoo on the date, the younger boy had insisted he paid the bill despite all protests from Baekhyun._

_And here the two stood now, stalling the rest of the night by waiting on the sidewalk outside of Baekhyun’s apartment. Baekhyun couldn’t even bring himself to put his foot on the first step leading up to the doorway._

_"I just— Yeah, I’m nervous," Baekhyun sighed, his hands curling into fists by his sides._

_"Why? You know me."_

_"Exactly! First dates are always awkward. Always, always, always. Even when they’re good, they’re awkward, but at least usually you don’t know each other all that well and you can use like, basic questions to make it a little less awkward, or like, at least distract me from that, but we know each other."_

_"Well, try a few on me," Kyungsoo offered._

_"Uh, where were you born? Wait no, I know that one. Goyang. What about, uh… You like spaghetti. You have killer vocals. You have an old brother. You’re quiet sometimes, but you have a nice sense of humor. Actually, no you don’t. That's me just kissing up. I’m way funnier than you."_

_"Hey! Wh—" Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes, turning his head towards Baekhyun._

_"You’re really organized. You cook a lot. I’d rather have your cooking than any restaurants food. You could probably be a cook, or even maybe a singer. Please, do not pursue a career in comedy. I’d honestly rather choke on your food than listen to you try and tell a joke," Baekhyun continued, refusing to make any form of eye contact throughout his entire rambling, too afraid of what he would see in Kyungsoo’s eyes._

_Kyungsoo, on the other hand, could not tear his eyes away from the older boy. He couldn’t really find the words to match how he was feeling._

_"Keep going," Kyungsoo encouraged, his hand reaching down to grab Baekhyun’s hand, using his fingers to disassemble the tight fist Baekhyun had wounded his hand up into._

_"You bite your nails…"_

_"And?" Kyungsoo slipped his other hand to Baekhyun’s waist, using it to guide Baekhyun along as he turned the older boy’s body._

_"And you like me?" Baekhyun finally lifted his eyes up to meet Kyungsoo’s, and the wider Kyungsoo’s grin grew, the deeper Baekhyun’s blush became._

_"Is that a question?" Kyungsoo challenged._

_"I think so, yeah. Do you?" Baekhyun pushed, wanting to hear the boy say it._

_Kyungsoo didn’t answer with words. Instead, he leaned in closer to Baekhyun, seeking out a kiss that Baekhyun happily obliged him with.)_

"What are the flowers for?" Kyungsoo asked as Baekhyun walked back to him from the flower stand. They had only been separated for a few moments, but Baekhyun had insisted he go in alone.

"Just because," he shrugged, bumping his shoulder against Kyungsoo’s as he walked past him. They had gone by taxi to the bistro, knowing they would probably walk back to the house so there’d be no point in taking their own car. Walks were normal for the couple.

"So they’re not for your loving husband on your _sixteenth wedding_ anniversary? Baekhyun, you amaze me. Flowers _'just because'_ on the anniversary of taking your life vows to someone?"

"Uhh… yup!" Baekhyun nodded, his lips popping around the edges of the 'P' sound as their feet turned down on the street that led to their neighborhood.

"You’re… an idiot," Kyungsoo snorted, shaking his head.

"But you love me."

"Yeah, I really do."

_(A curse slipped from Kyungsoo’s lips as he watched the battery slip from his phone’s life and the screen turned black. He turned his head to look back at Baekhyun, his features twisted up in fierce frustration, but his eyes were soft as soon as they fell upon the older boy._

_"Yours is dead?" Baekhyun asked, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket._

_Kyungsoo’s car had broken down on the way to the restaurant, and because they had taken the back roads there wasn’t anyone around to help. Baekhyun’s phone had died long before they had even left town, and now they both stood in the middle of nowhere, leaning against the side of the car._

_"Yeah," Kyungsoo groaned, his fist banging against the top of the car before he leaned his body over it, his forehead pressing against the cool, dark metal._

_"Hey, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, babe," Baekhyun insisted, stepping closer to his vexing boyfriend. He lifted his hand up to press his palm against Kyungsoo’s arm, hoping it would provide the boy some form of comfort in his state. "Someone will come down here soon, and even if it’s not someone that knows how to fix it, I’m sure they’ll have a phone. I’m pretty sure we’re one of the few morons that are too busy to charge their phones. We aren’t gonna die out here or anything, it’s gonna be alr—"_

_"No! No, that’s not it," Kyungsoo yelled, his edgy tone startling Baekhyun a bit._

_"Well," Baekhyun raised his eyebrow. "Then what is it?"_

_"I wanted to get to the restaurant. I had plans, and we need to be at the restaurant."_

_"Plans? We can go eat anywhere else. Anytime, anywhere. I don’t care about some restaurant," Baekhyun assured him, his fingers tightening on his lover’s arm._

_"It’s not about the food either," Kyungsoo shook his head. "The food isn’t what matters, the restaurant isn’t what matters."_

_"Then what is it? What’s so important that you have to do there?"_

_Kyungsoo remained quiet, his teeth grinding hard together as his fingers drummed against the top of the car. His nerves were higher than Baekhyun had ever seen, and he was beginning to worry a bit about the boy. He had never seen Kyungsoo in such a mood._

_"I was…" Kyungsoo started but then shook his head, changing his mind._

_"You were what?" Baekhyun frowned, pulling the younger boy closer to his body, wrapping his arms around his lower waist. "You can tell me. Maybe I can help you out."_

_"Nothing, it’s stupid."_

_"If this has anything to do with the ring you’ve been hiding in your sock drawer for months, then it’s not stupid," Baekhyun chuckled, raising a hand to comb back Kyungsoo’s bangs from his face._

_"What are you talking about?" Kyungsoo’s eyes widened._

_"Oh, don’t play stupid with me. And don’t you ever call you proposing to me stupid. Get on one knee now and do it for all I care. You think I need a fancy restaurant to want to marry you? Everyone gets engaged in a restaurant. That’s not a cool story at all. Propose to me next to a broken down car in the middle of nowhere."_

_"But…" Kyungsoo’s nose scrunched up._

_"But what?" Baekhyun chuckled. "Baby, really. You can do it now."_

_"The ring is at the restaurant," Kyungsoo shook his head. "I gave it to them so that they could put it on the dessert tray."_

_Baekhyun blinked at him, thinking for hardly more than a second before he dropped his arms from around Kyungsoo and stepped away from him. Kyungsoo started to ask what he was doing, but he kept his mouth shut as he watched Baekhyun search the ground._

_Baekhyun returned back to him with a long, thick piece of grass pinched between his fingers. He offered it out to Kyungsoo, his lips turned up into a smile that was shining as bright as his eyes as Kyungsoo took it from him, a bit confused._

_"Propose to me with that.")_

"I really love you, you know that?" Baekhyun asked as his hands dipped under the water, each lifting back up with a handful of bubbles in each palm. "Like, a lot."

"Of course," Kyungsoo replied, his arms wrapped around Baekhyun’s stomach pulling closer against his chest, the water around them sloshing against the edge of the tub in protest to the movements. "And I really love you, you know that? Like, a lot?"

"Of course," Baekhyun grinned, his wet hair pressing against the comforting support of Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

"And it's because I love you that you know I have to tell you none of this is real, right?"

"Stop," Baekhyun pleaded.

_("Is he here yet?" Baekhyun demanded, his voice growing desperate and pleading as he paced the floor of his private room at their venue. The ceremony was due to start any second, and still, no one had seen Kyungsoo or at least informed Baekhyun of his presence. "Please tell me he’s at least on his way."_

_"He should be here any second, Baek," Sehun insisted, looking back at Jongin who was messing with his phone in the corner. "Right? He’s on his way?"_

_"I’m trying to get a hold of him," Jongin replied. "He hasn’t answered my calls, but I’m sure he’ll answer me any second.")_

Baekhyun stood in front of the door, his hand caught on the handle of the door, unable to will himself to turn it as Sehun and Jongin stood on the other side, banging on the painted wood, the occasional sound of the doorbell of his phone ringing joining in.

"Baekhyun, answer the door! Right now!" Sehun’s voice yelled from the other side, sounding above the heavy and sporadic knocking. "I’m not going to ask again. You have three seconds before I—"

Baekhyun’s hands finally pulled the door open, stepping back out of the way to make room for the couple to push their way through the door. Baekhyun leaned back against the wall, his knees threatening to knock out beneath him as he slid down the wall, his shirt dragging up as lowered himself to the floor.

_("I need to see my fiancé," Baekhyun rushed, his speech hurried and his face flushed as he banged his hands down on the counter. The nurse in front of him looked up from her paperwork, her hands already pushing her paperwork aside to address the flustered boy in front of him._

_"Can I get his name?"_

_"Do Kyung-soo. Please, we were all at the chapel waiting for him to get there and, fuck, he didn’t show up and I knew something was wrong. Please, just tell me where he is! I need to see him, we’re getting married!"_

_"You’re his fiancé?" a voice behind him asked, and immediately Baekhyun turned his body towards the voice to face a young looking doctor._

_"Yes, do you know where he is? Please— It’s our wedding day. I need to see him. We were… we were waiting for him at the chapel."_

_"I’m going to need you to come with me," the doctor articulated, and there was something about the stranger’s tone that Baekhyun understood immediately, and oh, how Baekhyun wish he didn’t know what that meant._

_"Tell me he’s okay," Baekhyun pleaded. "Please, please! Tell me he’s okay!"_

_"I really need you to come with me," the doctor insisted._

_"No, you have to tell me he’s okay. You have to say he’s okay.")_

Sehun closed the door once Jongin stepped in behind him, busying himself with locking it as Jongin kneeled down in front of Baekhyun, his eyes almost velvety with care as he looked down at the boy in front of him.

"Baek, hey… Tell me what’s going on in your head."

"He’s been here all day," Baekhyun’s voice croaked, the lump in his throat swelling to the point where he was having difficulty swallowing it down. "We woke up together, we ate meals together, we went in public together, we even took a _bath_ together. He’s been here all day, and then he decided to tell me it’s not real. It’s _real_ , he’s _real_."

Jongin repositioned himself, moving to cross his legs under himself so he could sit in a more comfortable position as he reached out to take Baekhyun’s hand in his own. This wasn’t the first time they had gone through this. Over past sixteen years, this had happened countless times.

"Baekhyun, he's right. Kyungsoo isn’t real. Not anymore. He wasn’t physically here with you today. You know that. He died, remember? On your wedding day? He never made it to the chapel."

" _No!_ " Baekhyun’s hand jerked back, snatching his hand from Jongin as his voice raised.

Sehun dropped down next to him, sharing a look with Jongin as he pulled Baekhyun against him, letting the boy rest his head on his shoulder. He moved his fingers to the base of Baekhyun’s neck, stroking through the hairs that sprouted there.

"Baekhyun," Sehun sighed. "It’s gonna be okay. He’s gone, but he’s okay. We're okay, you’re okay. It’s time to let him go."

_("We were supposed to be married by now," Baekhyun muttered, his hands clasping the edge of the opened casket as he peered inside to see his fallen lover. "We were supposed to be on our honeymoon now and getting away from the rest of the world. We spent so many years pining after each other, and the one day where everything was going to be always, forever was taken away."_

_"Baekhyun, it’s time for them to take the casket away," Sehun started. "They’ve got to bury the bod— They’ve got to bury Kyungsoo now. We’ll be with you the entire time, I promise."_

_Jongin walked up behind Baekhyun, giving him a few moments to register his presence before he placed an arm on top of Baekhyun’s shoulders._

_"Get off of me!" Baekhyun hissed. Where Baekhyun had been still, practically frozen in a state of denial since Kyungsoo’s death, his body gave a knee jerk reaction and shoved Jongin off of him. This was the most emotion he had shown since they had left the hospital. Everything word and look he had offered to anyone was full of death and distance. This was the first sign of heat since they had left Kyungsoo’s bedside, but it was only momentary. Baekhyun knelt down beside the casket, growing quiet again as his fingers dipped down inside the casket to brush his fingers along Kyungsoo’s cheek. The funeral home had put some makeup on his face to give him some color. Something about making him look more pleasant, but it did nothing to resolve the cool feeling that tickled underneath the tips of his fingers, pulling him into a haunting that would last a lifetime.)_

"Baekhyun," Kyungsoo’s voice etched at his skin, creeping into every cell as he tried to will himself to go to sleep. Sehun and Jongin had taken the guest bedroom, refusing to leave his side, an act in which he very much appreciated. He had a hard time being alone, and right now he was having a hard time discerning reality from the fantasy his mind had built in his head over the years. "Baekhyun, I need to talk to you."

"No," Baekhyun begged. "Please, I don’t want to hear it. You’re not dead, it’s okay. Everything is okay, and we’re all going to be okay. Just go to sleep. Let me go to sleep. Please…"

Baekhyun turned his face into the pillow when he felt the mattress dipping with Kyungsoo’s weight, and this time when Kyungsoo touched him there was no warmth. When he thought about it, he realized there was no feeling at all. There was no life and no manifestation of Kyungsoo’s actual touch. This was not real.

"It's time to let me go," Kyungsoo insisted, his voice slow and patient, his steady tone meant to comfort Baekhyun, but the boy wasn’t having any of it.

_No, you're not dead._


End file.
